Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
