Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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