Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
