apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
