I bet he comes in French.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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