He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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