Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize