brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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