Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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