This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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