He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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