The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
