kristin has been a bad kristin
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
