That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
