pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize