Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
