the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
