Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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