My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
