Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
