dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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