You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize