I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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