we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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