dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
