he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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