NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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