Fuck appropriateness.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
