I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
