Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
