quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
FUCK WHALES
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize