My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
