P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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