guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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