why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
