we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
