I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
