I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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