The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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