so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
