i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
