I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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