So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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