So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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