There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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