I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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