well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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