I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
