ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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