Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
