The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
