the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
