:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize