i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
