genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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