so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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