actually, I'm a sock model
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
