I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize