Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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