it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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