he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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