I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
