I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
