Porn is love you can see.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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