I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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