ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
