I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When are your genitals available?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
