Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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