I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
being pregnant is like rehab
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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