So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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